Something missing.......

I have many so much to be thankful for this year, Nick's dad is in complete and miraculous remission, he is even back to work at almost full capacity. This in itself is just amazing and something I am thankful for daily!

But also we are talking about what our next step will be for our family business, something which we would probably not be thinking about had Nick's dad not gotten better! ( I can say our family business now that we are married!! haha)

I am also thankful for the amazing wedding we had this summer, it was perfect and amazing and everything it was supposed to be. ( even if I am still paying for it :)
We have had a crazy, mixed up, stressful, and amazing, miraculous year.

I have also had a crazy fall. It has been full of highs, lows and in betweens!! I do not have a job this year, something which I have not experienced in the last two years. As a result I am back to subbing. I really enjoy subbing, it's easy and there are no reports and parent teacher interviews etc. But I do feel bad about not having a job, Nick and I are managing on our 1.5 income.....but I do feel as though I am not contributing to our life, which can at times get me down.
Nick does not feel it's a problem, but I am realizing that I am not complete without a teaching job. I have always known that I am a person who needs to work, but this year I am sure of it!! I need to be busy and going and have a schedule. Maybe this will change with kids, but I know I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I have no beef with stay at home moms, I just know that I would go and have gone mentally insane staying home all day long. A few days is nice, maybe I will work 50-75% someday, but 100% staying at home is just not for me!!

With that all being said, I am still trying to decide if my future in teaching is still tangled up with french. I believe it is. I have almost 80% decided that second term I will go to ste annes where I can finish up my French ( I hope) but I still have a few things that need to fall into place before this happens such as finances, admission etc.
ahhh there is a part of me that dreads being away from my dogs, nick and my house, but there is another part of me that says....it's only 3 months and I can come home on weekends..................I will keep you posted on my final decision nothing is written in stone yet!!